what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
