Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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