I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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