Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i need some magic done to my vagina
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
