yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
