You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
