he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dick very happy bro
as a side note pls kill me
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