do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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