Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize