I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
