I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
