Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
