Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
His hands were made for my vagina.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
