He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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