butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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