I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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