so explain again why im purple
no
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
