yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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