Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
