Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
