Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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