Dude my mom stole all your condoms
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
