Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
