yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
