Where are you?
In a non slutty way
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
