big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My ass is underappreciated
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
