What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
