some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
