We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
