I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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