Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
