Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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