i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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