So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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