We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
