Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
