If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
