what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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