xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
