it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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