No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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