One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
