omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
