uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
