so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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