Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
