I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
