You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
