I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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