I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
