i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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