Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
