I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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