how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
