We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
