...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She said her name was "party"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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