I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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