if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize