Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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