Three words: puerto rican gang bang
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is Oprah even human
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
