wake up i wanna do it froggy style
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
