That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize