found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Dear god my vagina.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
