All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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